I want to write a post about secondary infertility and recurrent early miscarriage (say that 12 times fast), but it feels daunting and heavy -- so once the girls fall asleep I usually drink my cocoa and stare at my hands instead. But I'll get to it. It's such a weird and lonely thing and I'd like to throw a little comfort out into the universe.
(Woah to be clear, I'm talking about the in-between time from Harper to Bea. Not present day life. I'm a-l-l s-e-t on the kid front. Shew.)
Okay here's another heavy:
Another thing I want to write is a book-length (hey! I guess that's just called a book!) telling of our family's (Clay's) experience with cancer. It would really go into the whole story of how we got to a diagnosis (a musical made us take things seriously), middle-of-the-night emergency surgery, being in my 20s and seeing a chemo spill kit in my linen closet on the reg, caring for a baby through it all, living away from family, going crazy with healthy eating (like making bone marrow broth for after treatments...) and managing it all while keeping life mostly happy and un-cancer-centric. It would be intense, I'm sure, but also -- I hope -- a good and even a funny read.
I feel like this might could be a solid memoir, but am I way off? Would anyone read it? I need a big project to focus on and get passionate about and maybe this is it. Or maybe I'll just keep writing lots of unfinished short stories? And/or drink cocoa and stare at my hands.
How can I jolly this post up? Oh! Here's a fun bite: We're moving to Brooklyn (maybe maybe Manhattan but mostly probably Brooklyn) in the next couple months. Put that in your pipe and smoke it?
*puff puff pow*
Interested reader for all three topics here. My strong and sweet daughter in law....keep me up on Brooklyn. Love all of you
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I'd totally read your book! And I'd make my book club read it too…so there's like 10 sales you can count on ;) But beyond that, you should write a book even if no one else reads it (but they will!) because you have a passion for it and it would be great and you have a story to share. Dooooo it!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha 10 sales is a major motivator ;) Thanks for egging me on, mama!!
DeleteYES. You're are such a fantastic writer; just the right mix of the light and the heavy to perfectly get the point across. Please do it!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you! I really appreciate your words. Gonna do it!
DeleteI would pre order order your.book, pay full price.and shipping....just so ya know. I think you have a wonderful way to tell a story that let's the reader know ' this is heavy... But I'm OK and you'll be on too'...if that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteObvs miscarriage is an important and personal topic to me. My losses (2) were late, and while its so very different than recurrent early losses, it so very the same. Its a topic that needs to be spoken about. Hell, I did my first ever hashtag the other night (wave of light) on IG just to...I don't know...acknowledge my loss? Others losses? I don't know, but I know you could probably find and craft the words so much better than I can.
Write your.book. put me down for an autographed copy. Please and thank you.
thank you so much for your encouragement, lynn. it means a lot! i'm on it, coach!
Deletecoming out of lurkdom to say yes, you should write a book. you have a wonderful voice, a fantastic way with words - please write a book, if not about this idea, another one. anything.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3 <3
DeleteYou've got another reader & her book club vote!
ReplyDeletethank you!!
DeletePS: advice on what to say, or things to NEVER EVER say, to a friend experiencing secondary infertility?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteohhh a very good question. well, in general i think with ANY difficult thing (whether it's secondary infertility or cancer or whatever) it's always best to say SOMEthing and it's always best to say something very simple. it was always best for me when i heard "i'm really sorry you're going through this." just a solid validation.
DeleteUnhelpful things include: "Well, you already have one so if you never have another it's fine" (let me decide that!) OR "Oh i'm sure it'll be fine" (no you really don't know that!!) which are the most common. Also lots and lots of stories and suggestions of what worked for their friends... (stopping trying, herbs, acupuncture, whatev) The only time I was interested in specific stories was firsthand (something I never happened to come across!) Anywho. :) Good question, thanks!