(The longest recap) of a Day in the Life

Okay SO. My cyber bud (but let's be honest, now I just think of her as a real bud because we text constantly and know very, very personal and peculiar details about each other and sometimes text about what exact vegetables and salad dressings we love on a Friday night ahem) Laura has been running this great Day in a Life series for years now. Bloggers document the minutiae of their day and then she links to the posts on her blog. (I think the round-up post is happening in a couple weeks.) 

It's fun to see how people all over the country, working or staying home or working from home or whatev, do their thing and (this was my main goal) it's fun to look back on such a specific day in time and space and remember all the rememberings. I got super detailed with my words because I type too fast maybe. This was a ton of work, but glad I did it. Here goes -- do not blame if you just skim skim skim. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Clay: 37

Amy: 32

Harper: 4.5

Bea: 8 months

Georgie: almost 3

Taking up most of King size bed. Just like her mama.

Kind of a strange morning because Harper and I had a sleepover in my bed last night. She'd been asking for a couple weeks (after an impromptu one last month when Clay was traveling), so we put Tuesday night on the calendar. Clay has softball Tuesday nights and comes home late and sweaty, so it felt like a good choice... He slept downstairs in the guest room. Probably delighted to have a break from my flopapotamous ways.

I wake up at 6:30 when Bea starts fussing (she nursed at 4:00 AM after going to sleep at 6:00 the night before -- 12+ hours with one easy feeding is heavenly for me!) and I hurry to get her before Harper stirs.

Chewing an iPod nano from 2006. Birthday present from Clay. Now baby teether.

Black tea + milk + agave

Bea and I go downstairs and I nurse her, change her dipe, and make myself some tea. Then we just play and chat a bit, walk around outside (it's so warm and she loves being out there and also there's a better chance Harper will keep sleeping if we're out of the way...) and get Harper's breakfast of frozen novelties (French toast sticks, drizzle of Agave) and a glass of milk ready. 

Sunrise! 

She LOVES our rooster weathervane. Obsessed. 

250-year-old stairs to Harper's room. 

Bea helping pick HJ's outfit. Pulls out EVERYTHING from EVERYWHERE phase.

Around 7:30 I hear Harper stirring (okay, she's yelling for me...) The girls say hello and snuggle/wrestle and then Harper gets Georgie out of his kennel. He goes pee and then Harper feeds him.

(Because Clay slept downstairs and hustled out quickly to catch the train to the city, there were but brief goodbye kisses to all 3 ladies and I didn't catch a pic.)

I will miss how easy this was when we're city livin. Big time. 

She loves a good job. 

Reading 'The Big Book of Why', one of her favs. 

I put on Harper's rock 'n roll/90s Christina Applegate headband and she eats her breakfast and reads books and asks questions.

I always wonder what the teachers think of her feasts. Meh.

Someone should wash this carrier.

I pack her lunch (crackers, raisins, celery sticks, and water). On Wednesdays, her school has homemade bread and butter for snack and the kids eat a TON. They eat that around 10:30 and lunch is at noon, so we've all learned to just pack a snack. Bea is tired and a little crabby, so I wear her for a bit. But she's not into that (she used to love the carrier, but now prefers to be squirming freely) so I put her on the ground to play with blocks and the other random things she prefers to actual toys (spoons, cups, remote controls). I tell Harper she's gotta get dressed and brush her teeth while I do dog stuff (he always has to go to the bathroom 100 times in the morning).

Lolz re: Harper's face. She's mad I'm taking so many pics.

Walkin to the minivan. 

School bus crew. Plus Bea, facing backward out of sight.

At 8:20 we head out the door and pile into the van. We start with Music Together jams, but Bea is not happy with life, so we put on Peter Pan for her. Instant fix. We pass by a cute roadside stand I like to get burgers and onion rings from. Harper reads a new hand painted sign they have up:

"Hot and cold cider. What? Why would I want hot cider?" (the horror!)

"Ohhh because it's so yummy in the fall! Sweet with maybe a little cinnamon. And sometimes even whipped cream. Mmm..."

*thoughtful pause*

"I think I'd just like hot water."

Okay, ya nut. I like how Harper generally likes to parent herself in making healthier choices. "I'm too young to see a movie in a theater." "Water will be better than that orange juice." "This Barbie show looks like it's for much older kids." And on and on.

Takes about 20 minutes to get to school in the morning and then drop-off is easy. Just park and walk Harper inside to put her lunch in her cubby and then take her back out to the play yard, where they start every morning. I head back to the car and chat with another mom for awhile about how our dogs are a ton of work. Then I nurse Bea so she'll be happier on the ride home. I load her up and scurry back, worried she'll fall asleep in the car.

Made it!

Mmm. Caffeine juice.

We pull in and I hustle upstairs to nurse Bea and put her down. She's been awake for 3 hours, so it's definitely time. She goes down easily and I go back downstairs. I get the coffee going and take a deep breath for the most odious of tasks. Removing a giant tick from George (another! The hell?) and applying the gross tick juice to him. (Frontguard? Is that what it's called?)

I reward myself with coffee + giant splash of half and half (oops haven't eaten breakfast yet), then pay a medical bill online and submit preschool tuition expenses to a tax deductible reimbursement program that has honestly always confused me, but I roll with it. We've got all these things I've gotta get used up and done before Clay's last day of work next week. Eep! Hurry.

Bea is up 20ish minutes after putting her down. Sigh. Got halfway through my coffee and completed 3 not-fun tasks. Nurse her and then change her dipe and put her into some real clothes. I'm confused by these Gap leggings I bought for two dolla off eBay. New with tags but so, so short for 2t (I buy big because her legs are long and I can roll them up a bit and use them for longer). Maybe capris? Meh.

I feed her a little in her highchair, but she's always least interested in this morning meal. Realize I still haven't eaten and have a bowl of cereal. I usually don't go this route because I've got weird blood sugar and cereal in the morning makes me feel weird, but -- easy.

Heart our land.

I talk to my mom on the phone for a bit while I do general tidying around the house and carry fussy baby (she's got a cold). I get off the phone because she is just not her usual happy self and still obviously very tired. I don't do many carrier naps these days because she does real crib naps pretty successfully and because ow my back, but... I need the exercise, it's like 70 degrees and she's sick. So we go for it. She's asleep in 5 minutes and I walk for about 30. George tags (very slowly) along and I listen to one of my thousand podcasts (Baby Geniuses this time -- not about parenting!)

#health

Come back inside, nurse her again and then strap her into highchair for some goo. Mmm goo. She eats the whole bowl and then I dole out some puffs while I clean up the kitchen a bit. I make myself a hot dog (purchased for and rejected by Harper -- always trying to get protein in her, even if it's gross protein) and use a slice of whole wheat toast as a bun. And then eat two mini candy bars. I've had weight loss success by eating less calories, but higher fat and protein. I find that often means eating sort of gross junky foods. Whatev, it's temporary.

Best teether.

Harper and best friend Ruby on the left. I love them so.

12:40, time to leave and pick up Shem. Take George out and then put him in kennel. One ride to school in a day is enough, thanks. Bea whines the whole way there, but cheers up when we finally get to sissy. They hug and soon Harper and her best friend Ruby are off to their "car playdate" which we have to have most afternoons. Ruby's mom and I chat and I nurse Bea again and other moms come and go for a little chat. The girls hang out for 40 more minutes, which is longer than usual. I know I'm pushing it because Harper will be hungry and crabby and I can see she's tired. But it's nice to kill some time on a beautiful day...

Lo and behold, she starts to lose it (usually in the form of extreme indecisiveness and slowness doing anything) and I quickly hustle us into the car and hand her some mini blueberry muffins she loves for after school. We cruise home in silence (well, Bea is squawking a bit). We get inside, I make HJ wash her hands, then set her up with a snack (sliced apples and mini rice cakes) and a show (Paw Patrol, I think?) I change an ick dipe, put Bea in something warmer for sleep (her room is always freezing) and take her upstairs. I nurse her and put her down. She wails for 20 minutes, but is clearly exhausted and collapses right at the 20 minute mark. Now it's time to take care of the dog's needs. Take him out and give him his lunch.

I cuddle up with Harper for a bit on the couch and drink a cup of tea. No pictures because she's watching her show on my phone, a strange but typical choice.

Bea wakes up 45 minutes later. We all play blocks and wrestle the dog a bit before I set up HJ with a pumpkin and paint and glitter to do with it what she will. That keeps her busy for about an hour before she finds an Anne Geddes book (remember her?!) she picked out at the library book sale. We all look at that together and I feed Bea little pieces of Fig Newton. I have a slice of toast with pb and j.

Old Gap sweaters are the new fancy baby wearing technique. 

Fennel. Harper eats fistfuls at a time. Strange, strange child.

Harper gets way into dressing up her dolly and then insists we take her outside to swing. The weather has decidedly turned cooler, but it's also the time of day (5:00) when both kids are feisty and I'm often out of ideas/energy, so sure. I try and keep Bea bundled in my sweater, but she'd rather scoot around and crunch leaves. Harper swings and then pretends to Irish step dance and then throws dolly everywhere and then eats fennel from our garden. I pick up Bea and chase George around which makes her giggle hysterically. It starts to rain and we scoot inside.

Heart emoji.

I plunk Bea in her highchair and mix her up some oatmeal and fruit. I heat up some brown rice for Harper and pour her some water. Celery from lunch (zero of which got eaten) is repurposed. Super fancy and high calorie dinner. They both eat and the dog catches every dropped crumb. Helpful and annoying.

It's 6:00ish and time for me to do the bedtime shuffle with Bea. Harper is still eating, so I let her have my phone again while I change another ick dipe, do a washcloth bath, and bundle baby up for the night. She loves getting ready for bed, always has. Strange! We have a nice, lovey nurse and then I place her in the cribby. She smiles up at me, I walk away and zzzzzz. She's the easiest at bedtime.

I come down and start grownup dinner while HJ is still working on hers. I'm making pasta with sauteed chicken sausage. Very easy and will give me some lunch leftovers for tomorrow. Harper and I chat while I cook and she CONTINUES to eat (going on 1.5 hours now) and does a variety of things. I really enjoy this last hour or so of the day when it's just the two of us (or Clay, but he's been in major busy work mode lately). I give her a little whipped cream in a bowl with a spoon and she is utterly delighted. I've figured out it's almost the only dessert (aside from plain shortbread cookies) that she'll reliably ingest. We don't usually do dessert because it doesn't interest her, so it's fun for me (sad?) when it does. "Whipped cream and water are the ONLY things you can have after brushing your teeth! It's great!" Since she hasn't brushed her teeth yet, I'm not sure why the weird trying to convince me, but sure.

Ham.

The cleaners came yesterday. Won't look like this again till they're back.

We head up to bed and it's pretty late for her now, almost 8:00. We chat while she gets undressed and brushes her teeth and puts on jammies. She pees for something like the 5th and 6th time in the past 20 minutes, something she always does before bed. She runs down to get dolly and puts her to bed in the drawer-with-a-blanket we fashioned on the floor a few months ago. 

I put on her music (some tinny Mozart from a music box she's loved since she was 1.5) and get her tucked in. Lots of talk about how you can divide 10 so nicely into two parts, but man -- 5 just won't work out. So you're left with an extra piece. Which she demonstrates by holding up her middle finger? I'm all yep yep, I loooove division, cool. Gottagotho! Lights out, a few smooches, and Seacrest OUT! I don't hear another peep. Hallelujah. 

I make myself a bowl of pasta and get cozy on the couch with a blanket and a dog. I've got a bunch of podcasts to listen to, but I'm in a teev mood. I put on the pilot for Gilmore Girls, a show I've saved up for years and years now. It feels like time! Melissa McCarthy's on it?! S-O-L-D. 

No more pics after this because my phone was dead and so was I pretty much...

Clay comes home around 9:00 (this is why he'll be crashing in the city at our new place when the lease and job start -- 4+ hours of commuting a day ain't alright), gets some pasta, we chat a bit about our days and then he watches the World Series while I stumble upstairs. Around 10:30 my head hits the pillow and that's all she wrote, friends. 

On a Monday night

I just got Harper down for the night (well, hopefully -- though she's usually pretty breezy about bedtime, there are nights such as tonight where there's a lot of "I miss you so much when you're away from me and I care about you all the time and you should stay near me all day" and that can result in a few up and downs on ye 250-year-olde staircase) and my throat is so dry and sore. From the talking. So much talking.

Not only are there the normal 4-year-old things I must go through of word definitions and world explanations and such, there's just so much extra wordage with her -- because of her special her-ness. An example:

"Would you like a piece of Halloween candy after dinner?"
"Maybe."
"Okay cool, keep me posted."
"I said...MAYBE."
"Gotcha. No prob. Let me know."
"I didn't say YES or NO. I'm not sure! I don't know if I want candy!"
*I naively try silence*
"Hello! I said I'm not sure!"
"Right. You're not sure. That sounds good. Sometimes I'm not sure and I let people know and it helps just to talk about it. There's so much to decide in the decision of whether or not to have candy! I really see why this is a little stressful. I'm here if you need me. Okay?"
"Yeah. Okay."

Not in any way an exaggeration. And applies to myriad daily situations.

So when I think about the upcoming winter, and how she won't be in school, how we'll "homeschool" ... I might feel a little squirrelly. She'll do public kindergarten in September 2015, but since there'll only be 5ish months left of this school year once we're settled in Brooklyn (I love typing those words!!), and I don't want her to deal with too many back-and-forth transitions (and because she'll be THRILLED to be home and because it's f-r-e-e and because it's kind of awesome to stay snuggled inside during the polar vortex) it's just easier to to keep her out of school.

We'll sign up for art and dance and be busy exploring our new 'hood and all that, so I know we'll be fine and good. I just... think I'll need a lot of lozenges.

Friday

I really wanted to figure out what I was going to "be" before I had kids. Because I knew how hard it would be to go after it once they were in my life. But then, nevermind! I really, really wanted to have babies and that was so powerful a drive it won out before the career stuff got figured.

And sometimes I kick myself over that. I look at women who waited a bit longer, who got their Masters first, or put in 7 or 8 solid years of a career first... and I feel definite envy. They have these sick outfits and big projects they're leading and bowls of expensive Ramen they're slurping. They'll have that compartment of their life squared away and then they can do up Kid City. Whereas I've got the kid thing down, but at 32 I'm still on the journey of What's Next. The thought of catching up feels daunting.

But then I go wait! Look at these two delicious plums! I adore them, I need them, they're my team. I got it done, I had my kids -- check! I'm not 32 *insert old lady emoji* I'm 32 *insert cute lady wearing an Easter hat (?) emoji*  It's okay to do kids and then career and it's possible. There are still bowls of fancy Ramen waiting and maybe even a fancy croissant hybrid. *insert image of Mary Tyler Moore tossing a slouchy hipster beanie*

5:30 on Tuesday

I'm hanging a piece of yarn, strung with crumbling sparkly leaves, across the dining room window ("for our fall decoration look!") when I hear a knock at the door. Don't have my glasses on or my contacts in, so it could be Santa or the UPS man or a serial killer. My dog reacts the same to any and all: JOY! BARKING!

I hop down (leaves unceremoniously fall to the ground) and grab the baby while I hustle to the door. Both feet/legs/abdomen all become tangled in ball of string. It unravels and tangles through many chairs/block towers/exersaucer as I make my way to the door.

Oh, cool! It's the pest guy. Who, with zero warning, always shows up around dinner time to check our ancient house for pest activity. I just can't with this.

George is losing his mind. Harper ran outside to hunt for more leaves and I can't see her anywhere. Baby is screaming and trembling because pest guy is giving off Weird Man Vibe. The boiling water for rice is overflowing and the hotdog is burning and I am a mummy of string.

But yes! I am super excited that you and your muddy boots and Weird Man Vibe are here to look around my house for tiny mouse activity. This is a really good time for that.

Things that I only have 1-2 sentences for at the moment

1) I haven't read a book in years that I've so constantly wanted to highlight passages or quotes from (since college? when I had to?), but now I'm reading Julia Child's My Life in France and it's all such gold that I find myself constantly reaching for a pen. Her whole life and world view are like a street drug of inspiration for me.

2) Things I want once a year: Fig Newtons. Pineapple juice.

3) Bea is doing such a bad ass job of sleeping. She goes down without a peep at 6:00 and then zzzzz without a peep until she wakes around 4:30 when I'll nurse her (I initially ditched that feed and we were up for the day at 5:00 and no just no) and then she'll sleep again till 6:30ish usually. This means everything in the universe to my soul.

4) I can't stop thinking about Mindy saying "I'm a masculine woman and he's an effeminate man!"

5) Oh oh! We found an apartment! More details later, but I am so excited that sometimes I actually can't sleep at night. Cannot remember the last time I've had that feeling.

6) HOLY WHAT WITH ALL THE TOY CATALOGS. Can I just haz the Sears Wishbook and call it a day?

7) I have to go ask Clay to take a tick off Georgie's neck because that is something I am unable to emotionally handle. Killing a rat with a frying pan? Sure. But no, not ever this.

Moving on up, or I guess just south

Okay, so because I've been feeling antsy in the country... we're moving! Joke joke. Clay actually got a big ol' new job in Manhattan (go, cc! Very proud of him) and the commute into the city from out here would just be brutal (like 4 hours or more a day brutal) and we'd never see his face. And yes, okay, I have been feeling antsy. I'm not a boonies kind of girl, people.

For now, we're planning to try and keep our house and also rent a pad in Brooklyn. This means sticking to a real budget and maybe we'll rent out the apartment again and maybe we'll wave the flag and go no, too much! But we do love this house and want a place to traipse the fields and see zero people and let the girls swim and so why not give it a try.

The plan is still coming together, but I think we'll finish out Harper's school through Christmas break and then move. I haven't broken the news to her friends or teachers or even her yet, so that will be a process. We may very well sign a lease before December so we can get things set up and Clay can have a crash pad. It all depends on what we find and when it's available.

I'm pretty sure lots of people will think this sounds crazy and stressful and what? And to them I say nobody can eat 50 eggs. Or actually I'll just say I'm excited! It's okay and good and the girls will be just fine. I pretty much can't deal with all that's going to be near me/walkable/subwayable.

Tomorrow we're looking at places in the neighborhood where the Huxtables lived so, yeah, JOY. (We're going to have our own sitcom material with 4 people going from multiple bathrooms to 1.)

And that's kinda that! (Working title for said sitcom?)

On writing words

I want to write a post about secondary infertility and recurrent early miscarriage (say that 12 times fast), but it feels daunting and heavy -- so once the girls fall asleep I usually drink my cocoa and stare at my hands instead. But I'll get to it. It's such a weird and lonely thing and I'd like to throw a little comfort out into the universe.

(Woah to be clear, I'm talking about the in-between time from Harper to Bea. Not present day life. I'm a-l-l s-e-t on the kid front. Shew.)

Okay here's another heavy:

Another thing I want to write is a book-length (hey! I guess that's just called a book!) telling of our family's (Clay's) experience with cancer. It would really go into the whole story of how we got to a diagnosis (a musical made us take things seriously), middle-of-the-night emergency surgery, being in my 20s and seeing a chemo spill kit in my linen closet on the reg, caring for a baby through it all, living away from family, going crazy with healthy eating (like making bone marrow broth for after treatments...) and managing it all while keeping life mostly happy and un-cancer-centric. It would be intense, I'm sure, but also -- I hope -- a good and even a funny read.

I feel like this might could be a solid memoir, but am I way off? Would anyone read it? I need a big project to focus on and get passionate about and maybe this is it. Or maybe I'll just keep writing lots of unfinished short stories? And/or drink cocoa and stare at my hands.

How can I jolly this post up? Oh! Here's a fun bite: We're moving to Brooklyn (maybe maybe Manhattan but mostly probably Brooklyn) in the next couple months. Put that in your pipe and smoke it?

*puff puff pow*

Tuesday morn

We've been in Maine this week, hanging with my mom and taking walks and eating whoopie pies and then taking more walks because of the whoopie pies. Harper had no school Monday and Tuesday (flashback to one of my first posts on my first blog, 8 years ago, when I was bemoaning California's lack of Columbus Day and someone made a comment about me enjoying mass genocide cool cool) so it was a good time for a trip.

The long drive with the two girls is fine until it isn't and Bea is screaming for 2 hours straight. Nothing cuts through a heart/resolve to keep living like car crying. We're heading home tonight and actually leaving at night to take advantage of her off switch that happens at 6:00... Here's hoping.

Speaking of which, last night Bea slept from 6:00-6:30 without a peep. All hail sleep training! All hail.

Tomorrow we jump back into real life again, this time with dog in tow and chilly temps on the way. Time to start shoving poor Harper into woolen long unders and begin my wake-up-and-immediately-build-a-fire-like-I'm-in-Downtown-Abbey routine. Super vintage of us, I know.

(Side note: Is anyone other than my mom and me listening to the Serial podcast yet? It's so good! I have so many thoughts! I'm alone with these thoughts! Help!)

Throwing up a few words while Bea naps and my Lean Cuisine "cooks"

1) Looka those two! This weekend was pretty perfect in the way that fall weekends just seem to be. Saturday was rainy and cozy and Harper went to ballet and then bought giant teddy bears with Clay at Costco, Sunday was bright blue and sunny and crisp. We all ran around the yard and kicked a ball in a pseudo soccer game, Bea on Clay's shoulders, laughing hysterically. We did puzzles and ate sushi and BBQ and crunched leaves.

This house is such a delightful weekend house, especially in the fall. It's hard to beat the sunlight and the willows over the pond and the twisting roads through orange leaves. But then it turns to Monday, a winter Monday especially, and I'm belting out "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Mis while Clay worriedly plays the piano for me. Let us just say I get a wee bit...isolated out here. There are major flashbacks to my life at age 11 in a similar town going WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THERE TO DO and eventually just lip synching to Amy Grant. But! I was really just saying this weekend was nice. And also: no house is perfect even if it looks that way on Instagram.

2) Mondays are wonderful because on Mondays all my podcasts turn fresh. Jordan, Jesse, Go! My Brother, My Brother, and Me! This American Life! Start Up! And now Serial, This American Life's new spin-off. Heaven heaven heaven. Who was I before podcasts? A shell of a human, from what I recall.

3) Last night I started work on a new blog for H's school, which I've taken on this year as my volunteer contribution.  They're hoping to use it for outreach when someone expresses interest or if they're Googling around for preschools in the area. My vision quest is to make the school sound inviting and charming, but not intimidating or confusing. No talk about Steiner or other pedagogy, I just want to focus on the homemade apple crisp every Friday and the fact that kids get to climb giant trees. (Er or maybe that's a deterrent?) But damn is it hard to write about all that stuff without sounding smug or insane.

4) Today is a magical sort of day because H got picked up and driven to school (only a Monday thing, as another family drives by here once a week at the right time) and is also getting picked up after school for a play date at her best's house. ("AND YOU WON'T BE THERE, MOM.") Helps a ton with Bea and all her napping needs, as well as giving me a big break from all the back-and-forth school driving, which adds up to an hour everyday. I know, I know -- world's tiniest violin, but when that hour is spent with a cranky baby in tow it adds up. Anyway. I admit to having a hard time saying goodbye to my girl this morning, knowing I wouldn't see her again till 3:00 and picturing her cruising around with other people driving. Am I nuts that the other people driving thing is my most hated part of letting go?

5) I made Clay watch Glengarry Glen Ross with me last night after never having seen it and always wanting to and excuse me? Oh, so very depressing. I thought it would be angry Mamet-y and intense and flashy 80s, but mostly it was full of a million sads. Must clear my palate with podcasts. Mmm podcasts.

Suppertime bedtime life hacks so I don't go crazy

Bea, Harper and I like to head upstairs around 6:00 and start the party in HJ's room. She's got a little table and chair surrounded by an ocean of coloring supplies and books and I'll get her stationed there with supper. The other night that was a big bowl of brown rice (with Braggs, always with Braggs baby) and a pile of fresh mango. I'm a miser about suppertime drinks because of nighttime bathroom visits, but I'll give her a little Dixie cup of water.

While she eats and reads, Bea and I are in the attached bathroom doing a quick tubby. Splash splash remove the caked on squash and unidentified goo, check. After a fresh dipe and clean jammies, I tell HJ I'll be back in a sec ("and please don't do anything weird") and head next-door to Bea's room. Sound machine on, check, quick nurse and cuddle and check! Down in her cribby. Grab the monitor and back to Harper who's finishing up her last bites and last pages.

While she luxuriates in her lavender bubble bath ("My friends are gonna loooove how I smell tomorrow!") I hand her a toothpasted toothbrush and zwoop -- toofs done.

After tubs, she puts on fresh undies and socks and then we'll pick out soft leggings and a cotton top. Already dressed for the morning kapow!

Into bed, curtains closed, a chapter of Stuart Little, snuggles and a few guilt trips, music box on, a few more snuggles and "I just care about you so much, Mom..."... Grab the monitor and Seacrest o-u-t.

Cue Mindy Project and a plate of chocolate.

(This is all trickier with George in tow, but he's on vacay till next week. So we'll just lalallala fingers in ears until then!)