I really wanted to figure out what I was going to "be" before I had kids. Because I knew how hard it would be to go after it once they were in my life. But then, nevermind! I really, really wanted to have babies and that was so powerful a drive it won out before the career stuff got figured.
And sometimes I kick myself over that. I look at women who waited a bit longer, who got their Masters first, or put in 7 or 8 solid years of a career first... and I feel definite envy. They have these sick outfits and big projects they're leading and bowls of expensive Ramen they're slurping. They'll have that compartment of their life squared away and then they can do up Kid City. Whereas I've got the kid thing down, but at 32 I'm still on the journey of What's Next. The thought of catching up feels daunting.
But then I go wait! Look at these two delicious plums! I adore them, I need them, they're my team. I got it done, I had my kids -- check! I'm not 32 *insert old lady emoji* I'm 32 *insert cute lady wearing an Easter hat (?) emoji* It's okay to do kids and then career and it's possible. There are still bowls of fancy Ramen waiting and maybe even a fancy croissant hybrid. *insert image of Mary Tyler Moore tossing a slouchy hipster beanie*
As a non-mom (yet!) --- you're not wrong. The ramen just tastes different when you have a career. Maybe it's in the miso? jk
ReplyDeleteBut I feel envious on the other side. I wish I had decided to have kids earlier and now that I am halfway through a career with some sort of momentum and want kids very badly.....I'm going to have to push pause and be in the same place you are a few years from now. I'd like to even go back to school and it seems impossible when you add a wee one in. I am 32 *insert thumbs down emoji* *insert skull emoji* *insert not yet invented emjoi with a gravestone that says career* but at least the ramen tastes good *insert soup emoji*
I think this just proves how difficult it is to be a lady these days if you want both kids and a career. I mean yada yada, we all know it, but when you start really feeling it and the restraints of our age (in either reproducing or climbing the career ladder) it basically just blows. Meh. We'll both do okay, I think. I'm excited for you to have bebes!!
DeleteThis makes sense to me. I am glad I had my career years, even though they were pretty short I managed to pack a lot of "career" into them with a few different changes. Taught me a lot about various things and also clarified what I like and what I don't and gives me something to keep in mind as I start on career #3 (#2 can be the kid years, I guess).
ReplyDeleteAnd I think it just plain sucks that biology hasn't evolved to let the baby making happen later on.